So, I'm sorry for the last post, but I would rather vent here than on some poor meaning-weller. Yeah, that's probably not a word.. but ya know what I mean.
The hubby and I are taking tomorrow and Monday off to go on a little road trip! It is a motorcycle trip that his club has planned for Sedona, AZ. Unfortunately, his bike is still acting up, so we will be taking the car.. although that does mean AC, so I guess its not that unfortunate hahaha!
We were going to stay in a hotel, but there were no openings for Saturday night. That's OK, the campgrounds have showers, so I'll live.
I'll have lots of pics to show when I get back, have a good weekend.
Late
Thursday, June 26
Wednesday, June 25
crap
Disclaimer: If you don't like what I say, or you think it may be a little about you, just remember, I'm nobody and its just my opinion and my feelings and it only matters if you let it.
So, I try to act like this isn't bothering me, but it is. I feel like I could just lie in bed and cry for a week, and some people are taking my lack of public emotion for not caring, so I need to set some things straight.
The doctor called me with the results from my fertility tests, the results were not good.
She gave me the details and then my options and chances of actually having a baby. She also reminded me that she is not a fertility expert and offered me a referral to a clinic.
The next series of tests are very invasive and are not covered by my insurance. I really do not feel that paying more people more money and going through more pain and hope just to be told by more people that I can't have a baby is something that I am willing to go through.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't use any way necessary to have a child if they choose to. What I am saying is that I feel, if I was meant to have my own baby, it would be possible with a lot less medical intervention.
It is important to know the limits of what you are willing to put yourself through.
The hubby and I knew that we were going to have obstacles to overcome, we discussed the options.
I'm the type of person that trys to find out where I am before I start walking.
If you knew me, like you apparently think you do, you would know that.
I know about surrogacy, I know about adoption, I know about fostering. I also know what my goal was and I know that none of these things would fulfil that goal.
I have step-kids, and I have felt the pain and joy of being a parent. The disappointment and the pride. I don't really see how adopting would be any different.
The whole that I have in my heart would still be empty.
I tend to be an all or nothing person.
Once again, something you would know, if you knew me.
All I wanted was to carry a child that was part me and part my husband. Bring life into the world. Love and teach that person to be happy and watch what he or she became.
That is apparently not what was meant to be.
So, while I'm going through this very difficult time, try to do me this little favor.
Don't give me that look!
Don't assume that you would've done anything to have your child and that since I am not willing to go through more disappointment that I must not really want a child.
And don't tell me that raising someone else's child is the same!
You don't know me... you don't know what I'm going through. You have a baby, you had it the "fun" way!
So please, leave me alone, and keep your opinions to yourself!
Late
So, I try to act like this isn't bothering me, but it is. I feel like I could just lie in bed and cry for a week, and some people are taking my lack of public emotion for not caring, so I need to set some things straight.
The doctor called me with the results from my fertility tests, the results were not good.
She gave me the details and then my options and chances of actually having a baby. She also reminded me that she is not a fertility expert and offered me a referral to a clinic.
The next series of tests are very invasive and are not covered by my insurance. I really do not feel that paying more people more money and going through more pain and hope just to be told by more people that I can't have a baby is something that I am willing to go through.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't use any way necessary to have a child if they choose to. What I am saying is that I feel, if I was meant to have my own baby, it would be possible with a lot less medical intervention.
It is important to know the limits of what you are willing to put yourself through.
The hubby and I knew that we were going to have obstacles to overcome, we discussed the options.
I'm the type of person that trys to find out where I am before I start walking.
If you knew me, like you apparently think you do, you would know that.
I know about surrogacy, I know about adoption, I know about fostering. I also know what my goal was and I know that none of these things would fulfil that goal.
I have step-kids, and I have felt the pain and joy of being a parent. The disappointment and the pride. I don't really see how adopting would be any different.
The whole that I have in my heart would still be empty.
I tend to be an all or nothing person.
Once again, something you would know, if you knew me.
All I wanted was to carry a child that was part me and part my husband. Bring life into the world. Love and teach that person to be happy and watch what he or she became.
That is apparently not what was meant to be.
So, while I'm going through this very difficult time, try to do me this little favor.
Don't give me that look!
Don't assume that you would've done anything to have your child and that since I am not willing to go through more disappointment that I must not really want a child.
And don't tell me that raising someone else's child is the same!
You don't know me... you don't know what I'm going through. You have a baby, you had it the "fun" way!
So please, leave me alone, and keep your opinions to yourself!
Late
Friday, June 20
Happy first day of summer!!
So,
I'm getting my hair cut... this afternoon.... SHORT!!
Have a good weekend :)
late
I'm getting my hair cut... this afternoon.... SHORT!!
Have a good weekend :)
late
Thursday, June 19
WWKIPD
So, how was your worldwide knit in public day?
It's my new favorite holiday!
Now, no one here in Vegas put together a big shindig, so what I did last Saturday could really be recreated any Saturday, but it was fun!
The "usual" group met at Borders around 10.
I knew that the "usual" knitters would understand if I completely ignored them, so I quickly cast on a new pair of socks. Talking and casting on 2 at a time on 2 circs doesn't always end happily!
"That guy" who usually gets mad at us for being too loud in his cafe didn't seem to mind us being there this week. He looked over like he was going to jump right into our conversation a couple times, but he didn't look mad or anything.
He must have been feeling our Festive vibe ;)
Next stop in our WWKIPD yarn crawl was Wooly Wonders!
We were down to only 3 of our "usuals" Mayme, Deena and myself, but this shop comes with its own!
I love this shop!
I have never felt the "you're not from around here" vibe in this store. You know when you walk into a new yarn shop and the "locals" get restless, sometimes, dare I say.. snobby?
Not here, well, not that I've seen anyways.
The only problem with this shop is that if you stop in to say HI, and fall for the, "sit and knit a while" trick, you will lose your whole day. (I mean, if you can call that a "problem")
UhOh.. I think Deena likes this shop too!!
It was very good to be reunited with some of my yarn!
I love to see how it knits up! Thank you Charles :)
Yarn and dye supplies brought back up to an exceptable level, Deena and I decided that it was in our best interest to leave the yarn shop. :) It can be hard to knit when there is soo much yarn around to look at.. and buy.
Since the mercury was starting to bubble up around the 105 mark, we decided it was time to get out of Vegas!
We didn't go very far, but it was nice enough in Boulder City, with the aid of misters, to sit outside.
Milo's has a great patio, and if you sit up next to the building, your wool (and acrylic) stays dry ;)
Their wraps are almost as good as their deserts.. well not really, but they were really good.
A little beer, a little sangria, and of course knitting in public, the not-also-knitting-in-public public ;)
That's all I've got for ya right now, I have to go scuba diving.
I love my job!
Well, sometimes.
Late
It's my new favorite holiday!
Now, no one here in Vegas put together a big shindig, so what I did last Saturday could really be recreated any Saturday, but it was fun!
The "usual" group met at Borders around 10.
I knew that the "usual" knitters would understand if I completely ignored them, so I quickly cast on a new pair of socks. Talking and casting on 2 at a time on 2 circs doesn't always end happily!
"That guy" who usually gets mad at us for being too loud in his cafe didn't seem to mind us being there this week. He looked over like he was going to jump right into our conversation a couple times, but he didn't look mad or anything.
He must have been feeling our Festive vibe ;)
Next stop in our WWKIPD yarn crawl was Wooly Wonders!
We were down to only 3 of our "usuals" Mayme, Deena and myself, but this shop comes with its own!
I love this shop!
I have never felt the "you're not from around here" vibe in this store. You know when you walk into a new yarn shop and the "locals" get restless, sometimes, dare I say.. snobby?
Not here, well, not that I've seen anyways.
The only problem with this shop is that if you stop in to say HI, and fall for the, "sit and knit a while" trick, you will lose your whole day. (I mean, if you can call that a "problem")
UhOh.. I think Deena likes this shop too!!
It was very good to be reunited with some of my yarn!
I love to see how it knits up! Thank you Charles :)
Yarn and dye supplies brought back up to an exceptable level, Deena and I decided that it was in our best interest to leave the yarn shop. :) It can be hard to knit when there is soo much yarn around to look at.. and buy.
Since the mercury was starting to bubble up around the 105 mark, we decided it was time to get out of Vegas!
We didn't go very far, but it was nice enough in Boulder City, with the aid of misters, to sit outside.
Milo's has a great patio, and if you sit up next to the building, your wool (and acrylic) stays dry ;)
Their wraps are almost as good as their deserts.. well not really, but they were really good.
A little beer, a little sangria, and of course knitting in public, the not-also-knitting-in-public public ;)
That's all I've got for ya right now, I have to go scuba diving.
I love my job!
Well, sometimes.
Late
Wednesday, June 11
Blank Slate
So, I finally emptied the memory card on my camera. It seems to be working just fine since it got back from Sony :D woo hoo!!
I was going to post the pictures in chronological order, but then I would have to go back and forth from folder to folder and I'm too lazy for that, so your going to get them by topic.
We'll save the yarn stuff for last and start with my trip to Florida!!
It seemed like no matter which direction we left base, we were on a bridge.
Very long bridges in every direction.
As most of you know, I was in Florida for my daughter's EOD graduation! Here is my lovely daughter without her "crab" for the last time!
We got to the school a little early
so we could mingle with the rest of the graduates and their families.
The ceremony was held at the EOD memorial across the street from the school.
This school trains all of the EOD techs for all four branches of the military. The size of the class shows just how elite this field is.
That's all of them! There were no Navy guys, one Marine (just right of center), and the rest were about half Air Force (dark camo) and half Army (light camo w/ berets).
The only woman was
Nikki of course!! :)
We toured the school, she said goodbye to her teachers, and just like that.. she's and offical EOD technician.
After graduation we headed to the beach for lunch with one of her classmates and his family.
The were from IL. Very nice! ;)
The view from our table.. also Very nice!
We swam for a little while, but the waves were pretty big, so we went to a little yarn shop called Unwind. They were very nice to us inspite of the fact that we were still wet and looked very beach touristy! I forgot my camera in the car!! :(
We looked at possible yarns for the baby.. this green if its a boy, this is cute if its a girl. I think the ladies were more than a little confused when Nikki kept looking at her still very flat belly and asking, "what are you?" hahahaa
Luckily for me, the very helpful lady sitting at the counter was logged on to Ravelry. She looked in my queue and found out how much, and what weight of yarn I needed for a sweater I plan to make for my daughter.
Oh Ravelry.. what did we do before you?
Nikki picked out the colors, we got a wool/ acrylic blend, its very soft and a little shiny in burgandy and black, and of course, we got some yarn for socks. She picked a very pretty cotton blend worsted weight. It will make very warm socks, which is great since she is stationed in NC where I think they have winter. Since we were supposed to leave the next day, we called it a night and left the shop in the calm quiet that we had found it in.
The next morning, she went to the doctor to get her medical release, and found that they had decided that she was not going to be able to leave yet :(
The road trip was canceled. :(
She didn't feel very well most of my visit, so I spent most of the week in a hotel room on base. But it was really nice spending time with her and I'm glad I was there. I got the little A-line dress for my niece done too :) (the pic will be posted when I get to the yarn stuff :)
My last day there, we went to Panama City. I couldn't resist one more lunch on the beach!
This sign says it all..
We went to the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum. Here's a little fiber for ya..
Get out the sheers, I want a unicorn sweater!!
The biker in me couldn't help but get a pic of the ancient brass knuckles!!
Then we went to the mall so I could get started on being the favorite grandma!!
My flight each way had long layovers in Atlanta. I ate lunch alone at TGIFridays on the way there, it wasn't that bad, but ya can't really knit while you are eating, so it was boring.
On the way home, there was a Chili's in my terminal, so I got in the long line, and when the hostess led me to a table for two next to another woman about my age drinking a tall beer waiting for her lunch alone at a table for two, I asked if she minded if I sat with her.
She looked like the kinda person that would be up for talking to strangers! I was right! She said, "yeah.. have a seat."
We had a pleasant conversation over a good meal, and then I made her hold my knitting hahahaha
She was a great sport, and I think I wrote her name on my pattern, which is lost in my stash room now, so I'll just say thank you, and I hope your new job in LA is going well.
Opps I almost forgot the alligators that were in one of the surf shops we went into!!
Now, on to the yarn!!
The week before I left, I took my camera to cc. I got some pics of what the ladies are making with the yarn I dyed!!
Here is Angie's sock
in Astronomical.
Here is Mindy's scarf
in Weeping Willow.
And here is Mayme's scarf
in Phoenix.
Ladies.. your beautiful projects are making me look good! hahaha
I'm glad that I took my camera that night, cause I got one last pic of Lisa's new baby while she was still on the inside!! hahaha
Now, as I told you yesterday, I sacraficed timely blogging to finish up some projects. Here they are..
Jeni's blankie
Emma's seal of approval :)
Brie's dress (one of them)
and Jul's socks done just in time!
(new gusset style!)
I also finished a My So Called Scarf, but I haven't tucked the tails, so there is no done pic yet.
I left for cc last night with no pattern, no yarn, and nothing on the needles!! I know.
I stopped by Nancy's Quilt shop for inspiration, and left with some beautiful hand dyed superwash sock yarn, but still no pattern.. I tinkered around with gauge swatches, and actually cast on two at a time Monkey's, but I changed my mind and pulled it out.
I think I'm going to make the next seestor a tank top in red, white, and blue and save this yarn for something for my niece.. or maybe grandbaby!
Well, I'm outta here for now. I hope you enjoyed the pictures ;)
Late
I was going to post the pictures in chronological order, but then I would have to go back and forth from folder to folder and I'm too lazy for that, so your going to get them by topic.
We'll save the yarn stuff for last and start with my trip to Florida!!
It seemed like no matter which direction we left base, we were on a bridge.
Very long bridges in every direction.
As most of you know, I was in Florida for my daughter's EOD graduation! Here is my lovely daughter without her "crab" for the last time!
We got to the school a little early
so we could mingle with the rest of the graduates and their families.
The ceremony was held at the EOD memorial across the street from the school.
This school trains all of the EOD techs for all four branches of the military. The size of the class shows just how elite this field is.
That's all of them! There were no Navy guys, one Marine (just right of center), and the rest were about half Air Force (dark camo) and half Army (light camo w/ berets).
The only woman was
Nikki of course!! :)
We toured the school, she said goodbye to her teachers, and just like that.. she's and offical EOD technician.
After graduation we headed to the beach for lunch with one of her classmates and his family.
The were from IL. Very nice! ;)
The view from our table.. also Very nice!
We swam for a little while, but the waves were pretty big, so we went to a little yarn shop called Unwind. They were very nice to us inspite of the fact that we were still wet and looked very beach touristy! I forgot my camera in the car!! :(
We looked at possible yarns for the baby.. this green if its a boy, this is cute if its a girl. I think the ladies were more than a little confused when Nikki kept looking at her still very flat belly and asking, "what are you?" hahahaa
Luckily for me, the very helpful lady sitting at the counter was logged on to Ravelry. She looked in my queue and found out how much, and what weight of yarn I needed for a sweater I plan to make for my daughter.
Oh Ravelry.. what did we do before you?
Nikki picked out the colors, we got a wool/ acrylic blend, its very soft and a little shiny in burgandy and black, and of course, we got some yarn for socks. She picked a very pretty cotton blend worsted weight. It will make very warm socks, which is great since she is stationed in NC where I think they have winter. Since we were supposed to leave the next day, we called it a night and left the shop in the calm quiet that we had found it in.
The next morning, she went to the doctor to get her medical release, and found that they had decided that she was not going to be able to leave yet :(
The road trip was canceled. :(
She didn't feel very well most of my visit, so I spent most of the week in a hotel room on base. But it was really nice spending time with her and I'm glad I was there. I got the little A-line dress for my niece done too :) (the pic will be posted when I get to the yarn stuff :)
My last day there, we went to Panama City. I couldn't resist one more lunch on the beach!
This sign says it all..
We went to the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum. Here's a little fiber for ya..
Get out the sheers, I want a unicorn sweater!!
The biker in me couldn't help but get a pic of the ancient brass knuckles!!
Then we went to the mall so I could get started on being the favorite grandma!!
My flight each way had long layovers in Atlanta. I ate lunch alone at TGIFridays on the way there, it wasn't that bad, but ya can't really knit while you are eating, so it was boring.
On the way home, there was a Chili's in my terminal, so I got in the long line, and when the hostess led me to a table for two next to another woman about my age drinking a tall beer waiting for her lunch alone at a table for two, I asked if she minded if I sat with her.
She looked like the kinda person that would be up for talking to strangers! I was right! She said, "yeah.. have a seat."
We had a pleasant conversation over a good meal, and then I made her hold my knitting hahahaha
She was a great sport, and I think I wrote her name on my pattern, which is lost in my stash room now, so I'll just say thank you, and I hope your new job in LA is going well.
Opps I almost forgot the alligators that were in one of the surf shops we went into!!
Now, on to the yarn!!
The week before I left, I took my camera to cc. I got some pics of what the ladies are making with the yarn I dyed!!
Here is Angie's sock
in Astronomical.
Here is Mindy's scarf
in Weeping Willow.
And here is Mayme's scarf
in Phoenix.
Ladies.. your beautiful projects are making me look good! hahaha
I'm glad that I took my camera that night, cause I got one last pic of Lisa's new baby while she was still on the inside!! hahaha
Now, as I told you yesterday, I sacraficed timely blogging to finish up some projects. Here they are..
Jeni's blankie
Emma's seal of approval :)
Brie's dress (one of them)
and Jul's socks done just in time!
(new gusset style!)
I also finished a My So Called Scarf, but I haven't tucked the tails, so there is no done pic yet.
I left for cc last night with no pattern, no yarn, and nothing on the needles!! I know.
I stopped by Nancy's Quilt shop for inspiration, and left with some beautiful hand dyed superwash sock yarn, but still no pattern.. I tinkered around with gauge swatches, and actually cast on two at a time Monkey's, but I changed my mind and pulled it out.
I think I'm going to make the next seestor a tank top in red, white, and blue and save this yarn for something for my niece.. or maybe grandbaby!
Well, I'm outta here for now. I hope you enjoyed the pictures ;)
Late
Monday, June 9
BAAADD BLOGER!!
So, I had to make a choice.. get closer to something resembling "caught up" on my knit/crochet, or blog. I know, I'm sorry. It had to be done. However, that means I haven't even loaded any of the pics off my camera.. no knitting pics.. no crochet pics, not even trip to Florida pics.. I know! I suck. I'm sorry.
Anyways, the plus side is, my niece finally got her b-day presents (about 3 months late), Jeni got her wedding blankie (2 months late) and I some how managed to kitchner the sock from last Tuesday night and knit a whole second sock in time for a party Saturday!! It was worth letting the blog slide a little.
I did have to wake up early Sat. to finish the sock, and thank goodness it was super wash.. and yes, even though I left them out on the dashboard on the way there, they were still a little moist when they came out of the gift bag hahhaa. I don't care! They were on time, and I didn't even have to use the actual b-day date! (wed.) :D
I currently have 1 project going on. That's right, I said ONE! It's the So Called Scarf it will be done tonight!! it is long enough that if I had cast off, it could have been done last night and since it 100 billion degrees here in the desert, I'm calling that one early! (even though it is probably actually late for last year ahhaa)
So, now I am going to go to Ravelry to find a pattern for the seestor whose b-day is on the 4th of July so I'll have something to work on Tuesday night and this coming Saturday which is WORLD WIDE KNIT IN PUBLIC DAY!!! Don't forget!
I will be out and about all day and into the evening. Anyone that wants to hang with me is more than welcome, and I can fit 4 bodies w/knitting bags in my fuel efficient car!! :D So far, I'm thinking Borders, Wooly Wonders, a coffee shop in Henderson, and then the Cellar in Boulder City for some wine!! (they have killer desert too). I'm open to suggestions and changes in direction too!!
On the baby front.. my daughter is on her way back to base :( She is doing well though. She has been able to keep down a fair amount of food, and she got all caught up on the sleep she was losing!! 8 weeks :)
On the not yet front, I've gotten all the blood work done, 6 tests in all, done on the correct days this time. I love my new DR so far :). This Friday I have a hysterosalpingogram. Should I be worried about the fact that it is on Friday the 13th?
It doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but at least I won't have to do it with a full bladder like the pelvic ultrasound that I'm getting done following Tuesday night. (which means that I'll be missing yoga and cc! :( )
The directions are... at 6pm drink 48 oz of water.. make sure you have drank it all by 7pm. Then.. don't pee! Come down here so that around 8ish.. we can press on your bladder for a little while.. and umm don't pee on our bed!
I've done this one before.. trust me it truly is as bad as it sounds!
Well, I will try to load some pics and not keep yall hangin' too long! :)
Late
Anyways, the plus side is, my niece finally got her b-day presents (about 3 months late), Jeni got her wedding blankie (2 months late) and I some how managed to kitchner the sock from last Tuesday night and knit a whole second sock in time for a party Saturday!! It was worth letting the blog slide a little.
I did have to wake up early Sat. to finish the sock, and thank goodness it was super wash.. and yes, even though I left them out on the dashboard on the way there, they were still a little moist when they came out of the gift bag hahhaa. I don't care! They were on time, and I didn't even have to use the actual b-day date! (wed.) :D
I currently have 1 project going on. That's right, I said ONE! It's the So Called Scarf it will be done tonight!! it is long enough that if I had cast off, it could have been done last night and since it 100 billion degrees here in the desert, I'm calling that one early! (even though it is probably actually late for last year ahhaa)
So, now I am going to go to Ravelry to find a pattern for the seestor whose b-day is on the 4th of July so I'll have something to work on Tuesday night and this coming Saturday which is WORLD WIDE KNIT IN PUBLIC DAY!!! Don't forget!
I will be out and about all day and into the evening. Anyone that wants to hang with me is more than welcome, and I can fit 4 bodies w/knitting bags in my fuel efficient car!! :D So far, I'm thinking Borders, Wooly Wonders, a coffee shop in Henderson, and then the Cellar in Boulder City for some wine!! (they have killer desert too). I'm open to suggestions and changes in direction too!!
On the baby front.. my daughter is on her way back to base :( She is doing well though. She has been able to keep down a fair amount of food, and she got all caught up on the sleep she was losing!! 8 weeks :)
On the not yet front, I've gotten all the blood work done, 6 tests in all, done on the correct days this time. I love my new DR so far :). This Friday I have a hysterosalpingogram. Should I be worried about the fact that it is on Friday the 13th?
It doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but at least I won't have to do it with a full bladder like the pelvic ultrasound that I'm getting done following Tuesday night. (which means that I'll be missing yoga and cc! :( )
The directions are... at 6pm drink 48 oz of water.. make sure you have drank it all by 7pm. Then.. don't pee! Come down here so that around 8ish.. we can press on your bladder for a little while.. and umm don't pee on our bed!
I've done this one before.. trust me it truly is as bad as it sounds!
Well, I will try to load some pics and not keep yall hangin' too long! :)
Late
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